My Family

My family can be a family at times but sometimes separated. I have a family of three: my dad, my mom, and me. We eat dinner as a family almost every single night, although my mom comes to dinner late because she has to pray before she eats. She usually comes when I'm half done with my dinner and I'm always the first one to finish dinner and go do something else. I don't talk much at the dinner table, I just eat. I don't usually start up conversations, it's usually my dad.

On weekends we don't really do much as a family. My mom has to do work and my dad goes out to buy groceries from Chinese supermarkets. My dad is like the typical mom. He comes to every single one of my soccer games, which my mom rarely does. He used to drive me to school every morning, and he was the one picking me up from places. My mom is usually too busy with her work and my dad cooks more than my mom, so the role of mother and father is sort of switched in my family......or more like my dad does things usual moms do in addition to what usual dads do.

I don't spend much time with my family because I'm usually doing homework or hanging out with friends or playing sports. When I was 11 or 12, we spent more time together as a family, going to places like Stone Mountain and just doing things on weekends. But since now I'm older and have more stuff to do and because my mom has a job, our family hasn't really been a family like we used to be.

After all the discussions

After all those discussions revealed to me about fate, the only thing I figured out was that fate becomes responsibility. It was Oedipus's responsibility to leave his town to try to not kill his father and marry his mother. But in the end, fate was inevitable and his fate came to him unknowingly.

I feel that after all, maybe freewill isn't that free. I do not get to do just "whatever" I want and there are certain things on Earth that restrict me from doing it. But then again, I don't totally believe that there is fate. Believing in fate is like believing that there is some greater power in this world that controls me. I don't have a religion but I do believe in god. But I don't think god determines everything that I do or everything anyone else does. God cannot be responsible for 911 or the war.

Ultimately, I think there is both. Some things we do are determined by ourselves, while somethings cannot be escaped. There is no real answer about whether fate or freewill exist. I think it's better to live on without answering cause there is no point in answering it.

Fate or Freewill

Fate or freewill. That seems like a question of optimism and pessimism. To me if you are optimistic, you are able to control your life. You have a choice. But if you are pessimistic, you feel like you don't have a choice and you just accept what comes to you.

I believe in freewill. I like to take actions to change my future and lead it the way I want it to. Taking a test. That's a good example of freewill. It's basically not possible to just sit there in a classroom and let whatever the teacher says pass through your ears as you were a thin sheet. Freewill is all about choice. It's voluntary and no one does it except one's self. On the other hand, fate relies on just whatever. Maybe God, or maybe time. I do not know because I never relied on fate. I've always believed in freewill and that's why I chose to write this post.

The above is written before the classes about fate and freewill happened. Now that I think about it, maybe fate isn't pessimistic. It can be optimistic, but it depends on whatever the person believes. But it seems like fate has has an unfavorable outcome. People who tried the "bag o fate"
did not get what they wanted..........that elusive two purple hershey's kisses. For some reason, people were still happy when they got one silver and one purple. Yes, it was better than a zero but it's as good as being the chorus...........or maybe a little bit better because of pride. But it still doesn't make sense to try the "bag o fate" because you are risking getting a zero. Obviously, the chance of getting two silvers were much higher than getting two purples. According to basically everything in my whole entire life, the favorable fates cannot happen more than unfavorable fates.

Fate and freewill is a really complicated matter. Nobody can ever prove that there is fate. But I doubt there is one because everything must happen for a reason. Freewill seems like a safer choice to stick with.

Live or Die

Life occurs only once and once only. Just like the moments in your life when you wished it could've been longer, life is something that we can't get enough of. It's like sleep. When we wake up in the morning, we always want more and we can't get enough of it, especially during the school days. I guess in some cultures, pride is a big theme for them. Some tribes believe that being the chief makes them very respectable and makes them feel glorious.

But not me. I do not want to be really famous and I'd rather live longer than die in my 20s. I don't understand why some people want to be celebrities. They may have a life that is based more on money, but there is also the media that stalks you 24/7. I mean you see all these paparazzi chasing after big stars and I certainly don't see how the celebrities can enjoy their life. Their life is under a magnifying glass so that everyone in the world can see their naked life. They can't even go out into the public without being in a disguise because they're desperately trying to put clothes on their life.

What I'm trying to say is that it really isn't good to be famous. I've thought of being famous when I was young. I envied famous people and their accomplishments such as Einstein. I mean yeah you have the glory and you don't have to deal with the paparazzi after you die in your 20s, but you are dead and you've lost like 50 years of your life in which you could've lived as an average person doing average things. I don't see anything wrong with that and that's why I chose to live longer as an average Joe.

Story

I think the oldest story I could remember from my childhood was a story about how the 12 Chinese Zodiacs came about. I remember listening to it on a cassette tape and it was pretty interesting because I still remember it and it sounded like it could be true......well it was more of a mythology, it told the origin of the zodiac. Anyways the story went on as how the 12 animals in the Chinese Zodiac had a race to compete to see who won. The twelve animals and their place in the zodiac were the Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Lamb, Monkey, Cock, Dog, and Pig. I think they had a race on who could cross the finish line first starting in the morning. I think the rat won because it was used to waking up in the morning, or something like that, I'm not sure. The ox was second because it was one of those animals that had good intent on waking up or something along the lines of that. The pig was last because it was very lazy and was not used to waking up. So anyways, since my childhood, I was told that I was born in the year of the Horse so I sort of remembered the story about the Chinese Zodiac and I remember I listened to it many times. It was my favorite story because that's basically the only story I could remember from my childhood when I was under the age of five and it had a interesting story on how the zodiac came about.

Eastern Philosophy

Life bears many mysteries. But maybe it isn't that mysterious after all. You will face the "mystery" when you see it. You will find it without even looking for it.

The philosopy behind the quote means that your life is unchangeable. You cannot change how your life goes, it's just how it is. Once you are born you are already to the part where you will die. You may be young but you will still grow old. Once you commit a sin, forgiveness will be given. Compared to western mentality, this is different because we believe that you can clear out your sins or redeem yourself by doing good deeds. You can change how your afterlife goes by doing good things and praying to God. This quote also means that time is not important and the present is. Life must be kept flowing just as the river in Siddhartha. You should not worry about the obstacles you will face because you will keep on flowing.

Conundrum of High School

My High School experience is paradoxical because sometimes I'm learning materials without actually learning. For example, I learn all these types of graphs in Math like hyperbolas, circles, and eclipses. If I were to be tested right now on those topics, I would fail because I haven't really "learned" it. I would need some reviews on those topics to bring back what I thought I had learned. Another paradox of my High School experience is that I'm trying to get into a good college without knowing why. I sometimes wonder whether it's actually worth it to pay $43,000 a year just go to a college because of its reputation. I understand that employers would consider your salary based on your education and they will look at where you went to college, but can that be the only reason I'm aiming for a top-notch college?

I measure out my life with important dates. Things such as test dates, project dates, and soccer game dates fall in this category. Somethings I look forward to, somethings I don't. But I consider these dates as stages of my life. Once it's over, it's over. A whole new stage comes up after a stage is done. Sometimes, I will have multiple stages and that's when I get stressful. It's sort of like the biorhythm chart where you have your best days and worst days.